Nope, my blog didn’t get hacked. I really do have a Paleo Unicorn Poop Recipe here for you today. Before you either a) click away or b) have me locked up, I need to tell you that these are chewy little treats and not real unicorn turds. Sorry, but if I came across some of those, I’d be heading for the Smithsonian, not the keyboard. What’s more, they are gluten free, grain free, dairy free, paleo goodies. Why? Because that’s how I roll. Well today anyway.
So let me back up a little, because I’m sure a lot of you are wondering why on earth I’m writing about this. Ok, I’m sure no one is terribly surprised, but it’s kind of a funny story. So, rewind to a few weeks ago – I did a whole series on cloth diapers, and instead of dropping s-bombs like a sailor, I was nice and proper and peppered my posts with poop. The *word* people, the *word*. Google being seer and knower of all things didn’t take long to catch on that I like to write about poop, as I discovered by looking at my analytics stats. Yup. There are ways of me to know what words people type in to get to my blog. And poop is one of them. Or more like “the one”. Sigh.
Anyhow, you may also not be surprised that I found this highly, I repeat, HIGHLY amusing! I made jokes about it. I snickered like a middle school boy. I even announced it proudly to others. More giggle snorts ensued and the topic, naturally, turned to unicorn poop. I mean, what conversation doesn’t? Ok, so for reals, I had never, ever heard of unicorn poop, but turns out, it really is a thing. They’re rainbowey cookies that you can make, and you try to shape them like little turds. Sounds delicious!
Not wanting to miss out on any poop-themed entertainment, I checked out a few recipes, and let me just say, they are not the healthiest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a food nazi about every single thing my kids put into their mouths. But if you saw how crazy my oldest daughter is on on eggs and a couple of strawberries, you’d steer clear from the processed sugars too, BELIEVE ME! That’s the kind of stuff you wanna save for the grandparents.
My first ever poop recipe!
So the other night, I fiddled around in the kitchen to come up with a paleo-type unicorn poop recipe, and I managed to make something pretty tasty. Actually, they turned out awesome and we managed to scarf down all two batches already! And what’s great is that they’re actually nutritious enough to have as a quick breakfast snack, and when I fed them to my daughter, there was no 15 minute countdown to the sugar monster’s reign of terror! So here’s how you can whip up a batch of your very own Paleo Unicorn Poop Chews. Teehee! I’m still snickering!
Ingredients:
- 2 eggs
- 1 banana
- 1/4 cup honey
- 1/2 tsp vanilla
- 1/3 cup coconut flour
- 1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
- 4 Tbsp coconut milk
- For coloring: 1 Tbsp blueberries, 1 Tbsp raspberries; 1 Tbsp spinach; 2 Tbsp mango
Method to the madness:
Before you get started, preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line a large cookie sheet with parchment paper.
Grab yourself a medium sized bowl, crack your eggs into it and mix them up with a fork. Now mash up the banana on a plate until most of the lumps are gone and then dump it in with the eggs. Add in the honey and vanilla and mix everything up well. Next, add the coconut flour and coconut milk and mix everything well.
Now the magic begins! Divide the mixture into 4 different bowls.
In separate cups, mash up your blueberries, raspberries, spinach and mango. This is what will add some color to your Unicorn Poop Chews. I had all of these in my freezer already, so they mashed up nicely. You can also puree them in your blender, but I wasn’t that much of a keener. Just make sure to keep each fruit separate. If you don’t, you’ll end up with a brown mixture, and you won’t have Unicorn Poop Chews anymore, just regular Poop Chews. They would still be awesome, but less magical.
Now add the mashed blueberries to one bowl, the raspberries to another, the mangoes to another and the spinach to the last one. I know, you’re looking at me funny thinking the spinach will be disgusting. Just trust me on this – the magic of the unicorn will make it all taste fabulous.
Mix up the batter and the “coloring” in each bowl until everything is uniform. You should now have 4 colors of batter: purple, pink, green and yellow. Remember, this is fruit we’re using here, not neon food coloring, so the colors will be more on the natural side. You’re welcome to substitute or add food coloring if you like, but I wanted to keep it au-naturel, because poop, after all, is natural phenomenon. When you’re done mixing, the batter should be firm enough to hold it’s shape. It it’s not, add in a tiny bit more coconut flour.
Now, we get to the fun part! If you have kids, send them to play somewhere else so that you can have all the giggles to yourself! Just kidding – the whole family will get a kick out of this. It’s time to get creative and mold the batter into poop. Since there hasn’t ever been a real documented specimen of unicorn poop, you’ll have to rely on your imagination. I had a lot of fun with this, I couldn’t resist but showing you a few of the different varieties that I came up with!
Place each Unicorn Poop Chew on the parchment-lined cookie sheet and pop in the oven for 12 to 15 minutes. They are done when they are firm to the touch and the underside is golden brown.
Now #instagram those babies up, make some poop jokes, giggle and feast on the bounty of the unicorn booty!
So? Are you gonna try my Unicorn Poop recipe? If you do, PLEASE come back and share a photo with me on Facebook!
Need another Paleo Poop Recipe?
Or a Paleo recipe that is a little less gross?
- Paleo Chocolate Zucchini Breakfast Bars
- Paleo Coconut Chai Breakfast Bars
- Paleo Lemon Coconut Breakfast Bars
- Paleo Emergency Chocolate Fix for One
- Paleo Chocolate Hazelnut Heaven for One
- 2 eggs
- 1 banana
- ¼ cup honey
- ½ tsp vanilla
- ⅓ cup coconut flour
- 1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
- 4 Tbsp coconut milk
- For coloring: 1 Tbsp blueberries, 1 Tbsp raspberries; 1 Tbsp spinach; 2 Tbsp mango
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees
- Line a large cookie sheet with parchment paper
- Crack your eggs into a medium sized bowl and mix with a fork.
- Mash banana in a plate until most lumps are gone and add it, the honey and the vanilla to the eggs and mix well.
- Add in the shredded coconut, coconut flour and coconut milk and stir until well combined.
- Divide the mixture into 4 different bowls.
- In separate cups, mash up your blueberries, raspberries, spinach and mango. You can also pure them in if you prefer it to be smoother. Be sure to keep each fruit separate as to not mix the colors up.
- Mix the batter and the "coloring" in each bowl until everything is uniform. You should now have 4 colors of batter: purple, pink, green and yellow.
- Your batter should be thick enough to hold it's shape (if it's not, add in a tiny bit more coconut flour), so now you get to be creative and mold it into poop shapes. Be creative! Have fun!
- Place each Unicorn Poop Chew on the parchment-lined cookie sheet. These will not expand a whole lot, so you don't have to worry about spacing them very far apart.
- Bake at 350 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes. They are done when they are firm to the touch and the underside is golden brown.
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Hahahaaha! OMG these are fantastic! We love our Paleo desserts around here…I may need to link back to this in my 100+ Paleo desserts post because this is just too awesome not to share with EVERYONE! Who knew how popular poop is among the Internet population.
Mary recently posted…6 Benefits of Drinking Water: Wellness Challenge Update
So glad you got a laugh out of these! I was giggling like a 10 year old boy the whole time I was baking and writing. I would SO love to be included in your 100+ Paleo desserts post!
I have to admit, I clicked because of poop too lol.
Melissa recently posted…Greater Than Gatsby Innocence Collection Review
Ha ha! Yeah, poop gets me every time too!
Lol you are funny and those look yummy! Thanks for sharing at Real Food Fridays!
Heather @ Cook It Up Paleo recently posted…Paleo Crusty Bread
Glad it made you laugh! Thanks for hosting – I’ll be back next week!
You did a great job. This look fabulous and I love all the healthy non-processed ingredients. Thanks for sharing on Real Food Fridays. Twitter & pinned.
Marla recently posted…Real Food Friday #56 – Simple and Pure
Aww, thanks! I had quite a bit of fun! Thanks for stopping by!
I have to admit, this is awesome. My name is Katie and I host Inspired Weekends, now open. All entries get pinned. I would love to have you link up!
Katie @ Horrific Knits recently posted…Inspired Weekends #34
I’m so glad you like it! Thanks for letting me know about your party – I just linked up!
I have to say the photos and word “poop” made me click to read further too. I love the ingredients you use and how you keep the coloring “au natural” but I just can’t get passed the look of them…they really DO look like poop! LOL! I’m sure if it was shaped differently, I would be able to try it
Very creative!
Julie@Sweet and Spicy Monkey recently posted…Tangy Peach Mustard Wings
Bahaha! Yeah, the word “poop” + the shape can make it all seem pretty convincing! Try telling yourself that they’re magical unicorn macaroons – they might go down a little easier that way. 😛
OMG!! LOL!! That is gross and hilarious all at the same time!! Love it
So glad you stopped by!
Thank you so much for mentioning my unicorn poo jewelry! I’m glad it made you smile. I will definitely be trying out this recipe, it looks amazing! Yum yum.
I was happy to! It’s such an awesome set!
Healthy poop, what’s not to love! #pintorials
Jenny recently posted…Monday Happiness
Ha ha! Thanks for stopping by!
Clearly you’re on a winner. I, too, couldn’t resist your title when I saw it on #Pintorials. These are awesome!
Liz recently posted…Counting On when you only have a Minute
Who can’t resist rainbow poop?
Thanks for visiting!
I thought you wrote wrongly on #pintorials! It look very nice thou! Love the colour! Thank you for sharing it with us! #pintorials
Eileen Teo recently posted…Tuesday Tutorials Week 34 Dessert
Bahaha! I think a lot of people are scratching their heads! I know I did when I came across the original recipe, but it’s too much fun to pass up1
This is so weird, but I really want to make them! I’m sure they are delicious!
Tricia the Good Mama recently posted…Pasta with Pumpkin Sauce, Sausage and Spinach
Ha ha! Yeah, weird is pretty normal at our house!
bwahahahaha! i thought the pinterest pin was funny, but the post is even better!
it actually looks yummy! except the spinach flavored. i’ll have to experiment with green…
thanks for sharing!
Jenn recently posted…Be prepared
You know what? You actually can’t taste the spinach! I decided to give it a try because I’ve put spinach in so many smoothies and I’ve never noticed that I could taste it. The only “colour” you can taste is the raspberry, and it’s super good!
These are right up my boys’ alley. For April Fools’ Day, my six year old colored an oval piece of paper brown and put it in the shower so my hubby would think someone pooped in there. These cookies look much more authentic, haha.
Lauren recently posted…Hey Dads, I Have Something to Say to You
Ha! That’s awesome! Sounds like you have a funny little guy!
That is highly amusing!
What an interesting snack idea!
Thank you for stopping by the Thoughtful Spot Weekly Blog Hop this week. We hope to see you drop by our neck of the woods next week!
Jill recently posted…FREE Apple Math Pack Count and Clip
You’re welcome! I was glad to share with you guys, and I’m hoping to have another silly recipe ready for next week!
I was looking for healthy recipes that I can do with my kiddos…of course the title of this post TOTALLY grabbed my attention. I never thought about using mashed up fruit and spinach to color my food. Great idea!!!
Bahaha! Yeah, poop makes people look! The fruit actually does work pretty well, and even better if you blend it up first, which I was too lazy to do with this recipe! But I’ve tried it like that for another (I’m posting it tomorrow!) and it works like a charm.