Halloween is pretty awesome. I mean, costumes, wigs, creepy decorations, severed fingers and fake blood. Oh, and the treats! It’s also the one time where people are encouraged to be as creative and often as gross as possible. So in the spirit of Halloween and all the weird stuff that comes with it, I have a very special poop recipe to share with you today – my Paleo Witch Poop Nugget Recipe.
For starters, it’s not real poop. Sorry, I know I’ve done a few poop recipes before (like this one and this one, and if you’re still hanging around after those it is waaaaay too late to start turning up your nose now!) but I feel like I need to issue this disclaimer every time. So, no real poop. Just stuff that looks like poop. Well, witch poop anyway. And yes, they are Paleo, which makes them gluten/grain/dairy free – likely one of the few recipes you’ll see making that claim this time of year.
The craziest thing about this poop recipe? It’s yummy. I know, your mouth is just watering right now. So let’s get to it!
- 2 eggs
- ¼ cup honey
- 1 banana
- 3 Tablespoon frozen spinach, thawed
- 3 Tablespoon coconut milk
- ½ teaspoon vanilla
- 1/3 cup coconut flour
- 1 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
- ¼ cup raw pumpkin seeds (optional)
- ¼ cup pistachios (optional)
1. Preheat your oven to 350 and line a large cookie sheet with parchment paper.
2. Crack your eggs into a medium sized bowland give them a quick swirl with a fork. Peel your banana (frozen bananas are great for this), mash it up on a plate and add it to the bowl. Measure and add your honey and vanilla.
3. In a blender (my Magic Bullet was perfect for this), puree your spinach and coconut milk together. Can you guess what this is? It’s our food coloring! Oh yeah – spinach baby! And I promise it won’t taste like a salad.
4. Now add the lovely green mixture to the bowl with the other ingredients. Add your coconut and coconut flour and mix it all up. Sure, you can pretend it’s a big cauldron bubbling over with a magic potion, I won’t tell anyone.
5. If you choose to use the pumpkin seeds and pistachios, fold them into the mixture. Now is the time to call someone into the kitchen to have them guess what you’re making! Don’t skip this step – it’s the best part!
6. This step is fun too! Especially since you have a helper now that you’ve invited someone for your guessing game. How was that by the way? Were they close? Ok, back to the task at hand: shaping the poop. Now I don’t know if it’s just me, but I just intuitively shaped my witch poop into little nuggets. There is something about witches that just screams constipation to me, but if you feel differently, please don’t let me keep you from exploring different types of poop. Be creative. Let the spirit of Halloween inspire you!
7. Now pop the witch poop into your pre-heated oven and set your timer for 12-15 minutes, depending on your oven’s temperament.
8. Check on your poop – poke one with a fork and flip it over. Is it firm? Stop giggling – it’s a serious question! If it is and it’s starting to turn golden brown on the underside, your witch poop my friend, is READY! If you don’t see these signs of doneness, your poop could use a few more minutes in the oven.
9. Once the witch poop has cooled sufficiently, taste one! No really, eat one – they’re good! And see, you can’t taste the spinach, can you?
I really hope that you have as much fun baking these as I did! I don’t know if these have magical powers, but they managed to disappear pretty quickly at my house – don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Tempted to try another poop recipe?
Or a Paleo recipe that is a little less gross?
- Paleo Chocolate Zucchini Breakfast Bars
- Paleo Coconut Chai Breakfast Bars
- Paleo Lemon Coconut Breakfast Bars
- Paleo Emergency Chocolate Fix for One
- Paleo Chocolate Hazelnut Heaven for One
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